back and hopefully on track

Second day back but I have yet to get proper sleep due to certain commitments. This is really taking a lot out of me. I should sleep properly tonight before I go about starting my new week..

Anyway, the mission trip was a really awesome trade-off for the one week of study time. Well worth it, for it was beautiful. Yeah, beautiful is one of the precious few words that I know which applies in description of the trip. I don't know how to put things into words, and especially when faced with such an experience, I really cannot find any words to adequately describe it. Let's just say that if you haven't seen what I have seen, or felt what I have felt on my week away, you will probably not be able to understand the way I feel now. Even if I'm telling you about my trip and all, please. I have already stated above that I do not know how to put things into words, so what you hear will only be a teeny weeny fraction of what I went through. I don't know if it's good or bad, to have experienced something that so few have experienced.

During FF yesterday, I tried sharing my feelings with Joel during the prayer time and I couldn't really describe the way I felt there and then. At that time, too, looking at everyone praying and all, something inside me wished so hard that everyone could have seen what I have seen and felt what I have felt. It feels like such a huge responsibility, for God to have shown me the things as such and sending me back here to a group of people who have seen but have not felt. What is it that I must do with my life, to be able to make others feel the sincerity and the purity of God's love?

God's love is what is shown through the lives of the elders in Batam; God's love is what keeps the Christians in Pulau Lingka from the temptation of a better life, at the price of a simple conversion in religion; God's love is what keeps the believers believing, and it is what makes the believer want to share it with the ones they love so much; God's love is the panacea for all ailments, whether one is on the brink of death, or whether it is just another physical discomfort; God's love is what built the education centre and school in Pekanbaru, and I see it as similar to watching a river pour out from a wasteland; God's love is what sent my Dad for church-planting, and it is what kept him going on for years upon years, thousands upon thousands of kilometers traveled through countless dangers; God's love is what drove us through His lands, and brought us back safe and sound; God's love is the reason why we spur each other on to greater heights.

For those who have asked, I have answered, "Everything is the same, but everything is different now. Singapore is still the way I left it one week ago. The people are the same, the living environment is the same, every little detail is the same, but things just feel so different now."

I very much cannot describe the difference that I feel. Maybe I will type it down once I figure it out.. Anyway the next paragraph might seem random to some, and a sensitive topic, but it is something that's troubling me.

My belief: women shouldn't be wearing revealing clothes. All the short shorts, miniskirts, whatever you can think of. What is it for anyway? To attract attention? To want others to think of them as pretty? What does it matter what other people think of you anyway? It is a point that appeared very prominently to me after I got back from the trip, because where I've been to, the women don't dress that way. I'd thought it before, that materialism and self-image is playing far too prominent a role in the lives of people today, but it really is bugging me right now, that it appears like some women just cannot stand it if they don't lead the guys to sin. Imagine the temptation that a teenager with raging hormones walks down Orchard Road faces. It might well be what leads him into a lifetime of sin. Who knows? From my point of view, this is the propagation of materialism in the lives of people.

Brothers, it is a constant temptation to sin every single time you walk out of the house and into the world (especially when you go to town), but fight it and fight hard. Train yourself to look away, and think of better things like Jesus. It is a very real challenge that we Christians face in the world today, with the emphasis on freedom of the individual. I just have one last quote, from Dad.

"Faith is the internal factor, so strengthen the internal and you'll be able to cope with the external."

The world works in such a way to mislead us Christians from God. Do not for once accept that the status quo of society is acceptable in God's eyes. Like gaming, internet and pop culture. It doesn't mean that, hey, if everyone does it, it is alright for me to do it. For things like gaming and internet, well, a bit is fine. Excessive indulgence in these worldly things will only pull you away from God though, and watch the kinds of games you play. I played a certain game that I will not name (due to fear of a defamation suit being directed at me, which I do not have the financial resources for. I can only say that it involves lots of crime and all), and I totally totally hate myself for having indulged in such a sinful creation of Man.

At least I know I am forgiven.

Anyway, I shall be ending here, I just found out <---(yes that is a hyperlink) that 6pm is the best time to be running. A more elaborate account of my trip shall be posted soon, when studies are less of a worry.

Adios, people.