You Know.

Yeah you know. I hate this sinking feeling every single time I face that wall people place in front of me, knowingly or not. I hate the fact that I'm expected to do everything that nobody wants to. I hate the fact that I always have to be the bad guy just so that I can hold things together. I hate it when everything I do just goes along without any sign of fruition. I hate it when all that I do just seems so meaningless and useless. I hate partiality. I hate it how I can't stop being selfish for once. I hate it how my thoughts always turn to myself when all I'm doing is just trying to make others' lives better. I hate it when I can do nothing to help, when people don't even want me to be there. I hate it when I feel so despondent, useless, unloved. Empty, DAMNIT. Oh yes I know the feeling all too well. I have been trying to get rid of it, but no. It's not leaving. Somebody please. HELP. Ahhhhhhh. I'm too weak. No I'm not. I'm strong. I believe I can. Yes I can. Turn to God and I'll find the way. Maybe there's no way. I don't know. Yes I know. He will make a way where there seems to be no way. But that's just a song. Stop doubting and start believing you idiot. FINE. I'm emotionally unstable, maybe I should go find a doc. I'm fine. No I'm not. I'm fine. Okay good, now carry that burden on your shoulders and let's go. The road is long and the challenges are many.