dream on?

The situation now is such; the more I unload from my garbage truck, the more rubbish seems to load itself onto my pathetic truck. It is difficult, really, when I get ambushed by merciless enemies as I walk down the Road of Life. I wonder what I would have done if I was alone. I probably would have lost my sanity (if I haven't already) to these challenges.

I wonder what I would be like now, if I didn't have God in my life? I might not even be living now. It is a constant challenge, to try to keep to my faith. I might be inspired one day to dedicate my life to God, but how long would it last? It is a thoroughly tough job to be a human, and it is an even tougher job being a Christian. Suffering, though, is good for the heart and soul. A muscle becomes stronger after it recovers from a tear, and it is also such for the heart and soul.

I know that I do not deserve all the things that I have now, no matter good or bad. I am unworthy, like, totally unworthy.

What use are dreams when all I ever get are disappointments? What use are dreams when people around you don't respect it? What use are dreams when it always ends up being broken?

"Like a rose, trampled on the ground."

As if I didn't have enough to worry about.