Uncertainty

Talk about unspeakable issues. I can't help but feel the existence of that barrier that should never have existed at all. All that was a plethora of possibilities yesterday has become void, and I can't help but ask why. Ask who? I don't know. Myself, perhaps. What have I done to merit such ills? Have I not tried to be the best that I can be? The blame always has to go back to me, how I have influenced the situation and what I have done to salvage it, because it never is another person's fault, is it? Yeah I'm always the one who's lagging behind, the one who's not good enough, the one who's average at anything and everything, the one who is always to blame when things turn sour, or maybe the one to shun when you feel like it. So you're better, so I cannot give a proper answer to your question. That does not give you any right to step all over me. I will not stand being looked down upon as a person, because you have no right to insult another person who is standing right here in the same Earth that you live in.

To think that they'd taught students of today about human rights. Alright, enough of that.

I often wonder how I'd end up in the situation I'm in right now and how I'd become the person that I am today. Is it all planned, like in the case of predestination? My present contention is with the predestination camp. The idea of free will is only human, isn't it? We'd have no way of proving that our free will is absolute. Humanity might just be God's play, every single step taken already scripted at the beginning of time. We'd never know if the actors that we are could ever add improvisations to the script or even alter its course. The intangible Truth can never be absolutely apparent to us, for human perception is severely flawed. Maybe what I'm typing now is highly myopic in nature, but isn't that human nature, to be myopic? Most of our attempts to rid ourselves of this short-sightedness have been to no avail.

We fall down, we pull ourselves up, and there's bound to be another time when we fall down again. It all boils down to the unpredictable nature of life, but where is the line that separates the predictable and the unpredictable? When does the seemingly predictable crumble into the unpredictable? Life works in such a way that even the predictable might break down into the unpredictable anytime. Doctors could predict that I'm still going to live for a long time to come given my present health, but who's going to know if I am going to contract a terminal disease within the next year? Analysts may say that there will be no nuclear war because it is far too costly for any party to start one, but who's going to know if another megalomaniac like Hitler takes the stage? After all, Hitler was only here only about half a century ago.

Anything is possible, almost everything is uncertain, life is as such. The question we should be asking all the time should be "what's next?".