The day is here. Again?!

I've spent one whole year waiting for the day to come, and now that its so very near I don't even know what to expect from it. Past few instances of this day brought few surprises and little bits and pieces of love from family and friends though, and I have to learn to be grateful for everything I receive.

Everytime this time of the year comes, I am brought to realise how time flies, and how milestones pass by without notice. Many times I have put my time to tasks of little ficundity, and I regret for having not using what little time I have in the service of others. I've been dying to watch movies, play games, dying to do everything that would allow me to derive some happiness, but have I even been wanting to help those people out there who really need my help?

What makes me so special that I get to be happy while these people suffer? It's such a disadvantage to be born into a position of advantage. The mental inertia is so hard to overcome. I try to help others, but its really hard to really bring myself to do it. So many barriers, so many reasons not to do it, so many reasons to just slack off.

I always think: maybe one day when I'm alone, old and sickly, it'll be my turn to be needing help, but no one will come. They'll be too busy playing bowling and watching movies.

I'm going to try to be happy tomorrow. I'll only live to see a few winters in my life, I'd better treasure it. After all, maybe I've seen my last winter.