Home?

It really can get frustrating at times, when you feel like you're being pushed around; when the future's always uncertain. Oh well. It was a frustrating two weeks, but God does have ways to pick me up. Hmm. I just wonder how long that trip would last me, because now I think I'd probably be bored and idle again tomorrow.

I don't know what to say, really. Am I supposed to just remain stagnant and unmoving until the next move God makes, or am I supposed to go out there to find out what I need to do next? Even if the answer's the latter, where do I go?

Yeah. I'd probably be better off trying to get used to living a slow, boring life alone like what I'm doing now. Find somewhere to go now and then when others feel like it, remain alone when others don't feel like seeing me. Since when does my vote count anyway? Maybe only with God. Hey. You know the feeling, when you know that you have to do the right thing, but you can't? I'm full of it every single day.

A friendship is like a house, with you and your friend living in it. You have to maintain and take care of that house, both you and your friend, for things to work out. Both sides have to give, and both sides have to clean the house up. Both sides have to furnish the house, make it comfortable for the both of you. For the friendship to bloom, you both have to transform the house into a home.

Most importantly, I'd like to quote the saying, "Home is where the heart is". To transform your "house" into a home, keep the friendship in your heart, always. That way you can never go wrong.

So where the hell did I go wrong?

Is it my fault that the other side refuses to preserve my friendship? Or is it my fault for not being persistent enough? Yeah. People change. You and me. We all change. Sadly though, memories stay, and that's what makes separation unbearably painful. If I had a choice, maybe I'd choose never to have crossed your path. I'd probably experience less pain in my life.

Maybe pain is good. Maybe pain's a devil. Maybe I'm like pain.

Maybe I'm perfect. Maybe I'm an idiot. Go figure which one I am.