Back for the moment

Back after a week in Jakarta. Somehow the city seems pretty messy now that the busways are in place. Seeing all that traffic jam reminded me of econs' dead weight loss. Must count in the millions.

To tell the truth, I was just getting used to living there. Ironic, I know, since it was the place I called home for eight whole years of my childhood. Life in Jakarta is almost totally different now, or maybe its just me. Feels pretty weird to be back in Singapore anyway.

Had a minor operation back in Indonesia, which explains why I have not been able to start training as soon as I got back (yesterday night), and I probably wouldn't be able to train for a bit. To top it all up I still have to disappear for a month.

So yeah, I'm writing them Christmas cards already. I definitely won't be in Singapore for almost the whole period of December, so when you (keep hoping you'll get a card) get the card, please wait till Christmas to open it? Haha. Yeah. I probably won't get to see everyone I'm going to give the card to. Dang. That makes my job really difficult. Hmm. Maybe I have to set one day aside to deliver them Christmas cards myself.

On the remarks that I'm going to get an A for GP, ohplease. I cannot write well under pressure at all. My writings are substandard nowadays anyway haha, just take a look at all the recent posts.

I realised that I have deteriorated in many aspects, and yet at the same time improving in some. Is this what the road to maturity looks like? The road to adulthood? Adolescence is a dream. A beautiful dream, blotched only by your self-doubts and excessive worrying. I see that. The people around. They change drastically. They become the so-called "adults". I don't want to become one.

Which is why I dread graduating from JC. Once I get out, the society's going to pat me on the back and tell me that I'm an "adult". Tell me that I'm good enough to fight for myself. All my friends go their own way. I go my own way. Everyone goes out to fight for their own future.

Once that happens, oh gosh. I shall be lonely. Lonely but unyielding. Hoping that life would return to its original state once I'm done with my career. Deep down, though, I know that I'll never be the same person again. The people around me will be different. Things change, people change. You always think that you're the same, but maybe you're the one who changed most.

Which leaves me with the determination to squeeze every moment of J2 life dry of elation. Not tears of despair, but rivers of resolve. Aye Dr Ross.

To the people concerned (it's probably you. Yes, you. The one reading this. If you bothered to read all the way till this paragraph you're probably someone nice enough for me to miss lol), I missed you while I was away.