It feels so weird that something like that's happening right now, just after I resigned myself to the lack of it. Maybe its the chronological proximity that drew such a reaction from me. I'd thought it was a sign. Maybe God was trying to prove me wrong somewhat. Now though I look back at it and it looks like a test for me. It practically SCREAMS get your act together. It was another lesson for me.
He has such unique ways of teaching us. I'd expect that though, after all He did define 'unique' to begin with.
Actually right now, I really feel slightly confused over what to do with things the way they are. Where to go from here? I would very much like to know the answer, but the fact that I'm such a cow really doesn't help. I cannot help it. I just want to feel that way. That feeling that I've lost out on ever since forever. Now that I can feel that way, should I continue on this path just because of it? What if the feeling fades?
I'm afraid to know.
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