Assurance

Here I am typing in another post, right at the end of the holidays which were very, very ephemeral. Much has happened over the past week, and I have been through quite a bit today I guess. Mostly, though, the March holidays was a blessing to me in many ways; it brought doubts too.

I suppose I have not let go of the expectations I have in people, as much as I want to lose it forever. To lose that trust in people would feel as if I severed a limb of mine, or maybe worse. There is this constant mental struggle within me I cannot cease. To trust, or not to trust? To believe, or not to believe? Funny how I do not find it hard to doubt others, but trusting comes with such effort. Once I lose that trust though, pain ensues. Lots and lots of pain.

I do not know why I feel this way right now. Maybe because I have been dying to talk to someone for the whole day and I find no one to talk to? I just feel quite dejected right now, and I am quite sure it is not anything to do with the reopening of school. The fact that school is reopening tomorrow is not helping much though.

I know there are many people there for me, and I know that I have great friends, but somehow I feel so alone today. Maybe it is a phase? I certainly hope it is, and I certainly hope that this phase would pass soon, for I feel so helpless. I need to throw my burdens off my shoulders; my heart is heavy and my face is downcast. I need someone to talk to very desperately.

I am one who needs a lot of assurance, I think, and I do not think I am getting much.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Read this on Eileen's blog. It helped, thanks.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?

When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.



When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower

Hear the music
Before the song is over.