rants

Acts 2.

Peter's teaching style was generally in a reassuring manner. He touched on the identity of Jesus, the crucifixion, the ascension to heaven, all of which the Israelites obviously had knowledge of.

Peter did not promise wealth, nor did he promise health. He merely assured the people that in fact, the pleasures of this world were of no good to them.

The believers devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. They sold all their possessions and goods and gave to anyone as he had need. They gained the favour of the people, and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

They cut themselves off from the world, saving other people in the process. They ceased to sin against God, and they loved one another as brothers. I wish that I could be like them. I wish that I could just give away everything I had to anyone who needs it, living in solitude with the Lord. I want to devote myself like these people.

How I wish, how I wish. Lol. Now back to my lonely existence.

Excerpts from MY diary.

"What in the world is happening? I try to open up, and I get ignored. I talk to others, they try to avoid me. I care about others (at least i try), but do others care about me?

No, no and another no. No one gives a damn.

I feel like such a moron."

Nah, I shouldn't just be feeling like a moron. I am one! No denying it.

Argh. Stop ranting. Does nobody any good.

Anyway, have you ever read the book "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery? Personally I find it a very refreshing read, even though it was somewhat a "children's book". The messages hidden among the text are so utterly profound and thought-provoking that it literally blew me away. Actually, I believe that no one really cares about the messages.

But guess what? I care.

Behind the childish form of the little prince lay the secret to finding true happiness in this world. Something I believe not many people have achieved. The story also tells about the stupidity of the modern adult world. The king, the businessman, the drunk, the lamp lighter and the geographer. All of these characters resemble the true form of today's society. Read the book, and you may find that these characters' behaviours are very, very familiar.

I regret not reading the book much earlier. I truly regret it. It had been lying on the shelf for years, and I did not even bother to touch it. I could have stopped myself from making the mistakes I have made, but it's too late. I've already turned into a grown-up. Attached to the meaningless routines of daily life, just fighting a losing battle.

What Marcus said really made me think. I may be saying all these things right now, but would I be doing them in the future? Your words really took a toll on me. Made me think so hard.

I came to the conclusion that we are unable to severe all our ties with this world, not because of our own incompetency. We are not entirely at fault. The bonds that we have with this world, they have been established on the day we were born, and these bonds have moulded us into what we are today. We had no choice over it. It just comes, and we are helpless against it. It's as if a dot of white paint was dropped into a bucket of black paint, instantaneously dissolving into the darkness. No one really ever survives this devilry.

I just wish what Marcus said won't come true.

I want to live a true life, unmarred by the world.

You won't get to see the tears I cried.