i'm a mess

haha im going crazy.. everyone's so happy and cheerful, im trying to be happy and cheerful too..

but i cant..

all the time im troubled by all these.. i dunno why
anything im doing,

nightmares consume me in my sleep
thoughts freeze me up all the time

i can be joking this moment
and feeling down the next

sometimes i just feel like lying down and think things through
when those moments come
i am always unable to do anything to relieve myself of the suffering
the torture
the agony

all i can do
is pray

God help me